When you have sinned and failed God again, where do you turn? Where do you go? To whom do you look? What do you do in those moments of great brokenness, guilt, and shame? Also, how do you keep walking with God, everyday, knowing that you will fail Him again and again?
Longtime pastor and teacher, Kent Hughes, talks about how the gospel message of grace needs to be the basis for all of our actions and doing in the Church. I want to quote him extensively here. Listen to his sobering words (I have put into bold, underline, or italics some key concepts for emphasis):
“When the message of the gospel comes unglued from godliness, faith shatters. No matter how commendable our intentions may be, the message of grace apart from godliness—or godly endeavor apart from an understanding of grace—destroys the hope that the gospel offers. This truth was powerfully and sadly demonstrated in the lives of many of my young minister friends after we graduated from seminary. As pastors in training we often challenged each other with the phrase, “We will live for the glory of God.” Though the words sounded noble, they damaged us. What we were really saying to one another in our youthful zeal was that we would strengthen our resolve, bow our necks, and through our own goodness and grit march the kingdom of God forward. The focus was not upon our need for a dependence on grace but upon our personal determination to live more godly lives than those who had preceded us.
The results were devastating. We could not measure up to our own standards. Of those who graduated with me, very few are still in ministry. Many fell to sexual immorality, relational incompetence, or dishonesty. By trying to live godly lives without due focus upon God’s pardoning and enabling grace, we had no protection from the despair that our own weaknesses and hypocrisies created. Such joylessness only exacerbated spiritual weaknesses that robbed us of spiritual health and credible ministry. Only those who discovered the power of grace found the strength to continue in ministry.”[1]
What about you? What do you depend on when you have failed miserably? Where do you turn, to whom do you go, when you have blown it majorly? Do you RETURN to your Self-Effort and say, “I’ll try harder!” Do you say, “I’ll get up Earlier! I’ll plan more efficiently! I’ll determine to walk with God! I’ll NOT MISS a church service!” Do you, then, throw all sorts of burdening rules and heavy regulations around yourself to try to protect yourself from falling again? And, then, when you fail again, where do you turn? Turning BACK to our EFFORT, our own “SWEAT” will leave us, ultimately, Spiritually-Exhausted and Utterly DISCOURAGED at the end of the day. Our only source of hope, our only source of comfort in the midst of failure, in the midst of rebellious sin, is to turn to Christ. He alone has the power to forgive. He alone lavishes abundant grace and overflowing mercy to wretched people like ourselves. And along with His forgiving grace, He will also provide us strength to carry on in our walks with Him. Certainly, we will resolve to resist sin. Certainly, we will seek to provide accountability and other measures to assist us, but we do not put our hope in our resolve or in these measures; we must continually, daily, and persistently, fall back on Christ, Who alone has the power to forgive and hold up sinners. We will not make it in this life, nor will we, specifically, make it in the church (whether as a lay leader or as a vocational church leader) unless we look up to Christ 10 times for every 1 time we look to ourselves (credited to Robert Murray M’Cheyne).
[1] R. Kent Hughes and Bryan Chapell, 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus: To Guard the Deposit, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2000), 281–282.