How do we make sense of the silence and absence of God?

How do we make sense of the fact that God seems deafeningly silent at times? (image courtesy of pixabay.com)
How do we make sense of the fact that God seems deafeningly silent at times? (image courtesy of pixabay.com)

There are a variety of phrases within Christianity that we often use to imply that God is “so hard to find.” We say that we are “seeking direction” or that we are “waiting upon the Lord” or that we have “sought the Lord” about a particular matter but are not clear about a specific path to take. We’ll say, “God has not spoken to me yet.” The Psalms are full of passages that speak of seeking for God when they say, for example, “How Long, O Lord?” (Psalm 6:3; 13:1; 35:17, etc.) meaning that they are waiting for God to deliver, when He has not. Jesus said that if we seek then we shall find (Matthew 7:7-8), yet some (many?) of us often “seek” and never seem to “find”. Also, Christians obsess over “hearing the voice of God.” Sometimes Christians will pray and fast and spend extended periods of time in silence and solitude, exerting much effort, just to “hear” one word from God. Looking at our Christian heritage, our practices, our beliefs, as well as various lines throughout Scripture, one may ask this question:

“If God truly exists, then why, for many of us, is He so hard to find?”

Why does there seem to be this “hide and seek” game with God? Why must we “seek” God if He’s already there? Why, for some, does it take an all-night prayer meeting, and a few days of fasting, to “find God,” or for Him to finally “show up”? Here are a few possible solutions to this “finding God” dilemma:

WE DON’T HAVE THE LUXURY OF SETTING UP THE WAY GOD RELATES TO HIS CREATION

When we begin to think that God should relate to us in a way that is understandable or logical to us, we are then imposing upon God Almighty the way that we think He should act in the world. Paul reflects on this type of matter after expounding upon the great plan of God regarding salvation in Romans 11:33-35:

33 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 34 ‘For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?’ 35 ‘Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?’

There is, it seems to me, a subtle pride in demanding that God do “This” or do “That.” While there may be some room for concern about the way God relates to us, it is also quite possible, given the sinful proclivities of the human heart, to put ourselves in the place of God and presume that what we would do is also what God should do. God, in short, can relate to His creation in whatever way He pleases, and who are we, in our great wisdom and vast stores of knowledge, to say otherwise?

WE DON’T KNOW ENOUGH TO LEGITIMATELY COMPLAIN TO GOD ABOUT HIS APPARENT ABSENCE

Whenever God is absent, many of us will assume that He is simply not there. Does it ever cross our minds that God may have some good reason for being overtly absence in a particular situation? God’s thoughts are not our thoughts and God’s ways are not our ways (see Isaiah 55:8-9), and to equate our thoughts with His thoughts is simply to confuse ourselves with God. We can fall into a trap of assuming that God should think like we do, and this is a massive error in reasoning. Our knowledge is limited in both quantity and quality, therefore, we should not assume to know more than we do about God. Given our limited knowledge in both quantity and quality, could it not be the case that within that large expanse of knowledge that we do not have that there are a trillion good reasons why God is currently (and seemingly) absent in our particular circumstance?

SIN ON OUR PART MAY BE A FACTOR IN GOD’S ABSENCE

James 4:2-3 says:

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. “

We may wonder in astonishment that God does not speedily answer our prayers, but could it be that God has not answered our request because we have asked “wrongly” that we may “spend it on [our] passions”? Of course, this may not be the case for one who is in a situation of imminent danger (again, only God knows, we certainly do not), but it definitely could be the case for the rest of us who are simply perturbed with God that He would be so audacious as to not immediately reply to our requests.

Isaiah 59:1-2 also supports this same sentiment:

“Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save,
    or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
    between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face from you
    so that he does not hear.”

God’s ear is not “dull” that He “cannot hear,” but Isaiah declares that our sins, our “iniquities have made a separation” between us and God. Our sins have hidden His face from us “so that he does not hear.” Is it not possible that God has not answered our prayers because our sins have stuffed His ears so that He chooses not to hear? One may object that “God should hear anyway even if we do sin!” but again this is imposing upon God that way we think He should relate to His creation (see first point above!).

WE ARE TOO SHORT-SIGHTED TO RECOGNIZE GOD WHEN HE IS PRESENT

When we think of God “showing up,” we may think of His action and presence as a massive “Boom” that no one can miss; but this may not be the case. This was indeed the case with Elijah and the Lord in 1 Kings 19:11-12

11 And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.”

After this “low whisper,” the Lord spoke to Elijah in the very next verse. Sometimes God shows up in ways that we do not expect. For Elijah, while God’s mighty power was manifested by the strong wind that tore the mountains, the Lord was not in the wind, nor was He in the earthquake or the fire, but He was in “the sound of a low whisper.” When God does not show up in the way that we expected Him to we should not be angry at God, rather we should marvel at how diverse God is in the ways in which He may reveal Himself.

While one can still hear the unbelieving skeptic, or even the discouraged Christian say, “God is not acting, therefore, God does not exist!” one must deal, first, with the ways that God Himself has said that He will act in the world.

9 thoughts on “How do we make sense of the silence and absence of God?

  • Hello Billy,

    Sorry for the lengthy delay in responding. I have a few comments in response. Lets start with;

    You wrote;
    “Now, one could go in the other direction and claim that “There is not God” because prayer is unanswered (or, at least not answered in the way we would want it)….”

    I have never thought that there is no God because my prayers are never answered, not how I would prefer or any other way for that matter. I just point out that silence isn’t an actual answer. I try to lean on what God’s word says, but that’s impossible when God doesn’t keep His word. “Whatever you ask in my name I will do so the Father may be glorified through the Son.” A broken promise. His word not kept.

    You wrote;
    “And the psalmist (or whoever is writing) would reply something like “But I will wait on You, Oh Lord….”
    “While the Scripture writers were ofter angry with God, the response here is to not view it as “suffering” in silence, but waiting patiently with His silence. ”

    God didn’t make me to be a patient person. I have asked God to help me with this deficiency in my character. 43+ years and still nothing, no help. Just another unanswered prayer. Anger isn’t what I feel towards God. Heart broken, disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, and despair are my feelings regarding God and His lack of interaction in my life.

    You wrote;
    “We can all (myself included) get caught up in how God DOESN’T answer prayer or how God DOESN’T come through, but we need to also remind us when God HAS come through. ”
    “We remind ourselves of what God has done in the past…”

    There lies the problem. After 43+ years of being a Christian, I can’t think of (remember) anything that God has done to bless my life. Life isn’t a blessing when you have nothing to live for. From my perspective, I don’t. God has never revealed, or done, anything that makes life worth living. God didn’t give me any talents, skills, or abilities in this life, no purpose revealed. Just silence. Purpose, the thing that makes life worth living. From my perspective God is not involved in my life, let alone done anything good for me. Keeping me alive to suffer in silence and absence is just plain torture, not a blessing. Life long poverty isn’t a blessing either. Being no good at anything isn’t a blessing. Heck God won’t even give me enough financially to be a proper Christian. Don’t have enough to get to church, let alone pay tithes and offerings, that isn’t a blessing.

    You typed out a song that doesn’t ring any positive bells, just negative. The verse about God being over all (in control), doesn’t bring me any comfort and hope. Just the opposite. That just tells me that God is in control of all my misery, discontentment, disappointment, heartbreak, discouragement, frustration, and despair. That God is responsible for all the bad things in my life and that He won’t ever do anything good for me. I have brought my concerns to God as we should, only to be ignored and neglected. Never anything. As for our rewards in Heaven and the afterlife, they don’t have anything to do with the here and now. Meaningless in this life. I need God in this life also, not just the next one.

    I don’t know how to be happy, content, or joyful with a life of endless nothing from God. No help from God. I want to believe that God is always good and that He wants good for me but experience has proven otherwise. Being ignored and neglected is not good, even by God.

    I know that I can be a bit trying for some people, so I will understand if you don’t reply.

    God bless you through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Hello Kenneth,

      Let me go through your comments. But before I do that, let me recommend a book for you on Lament called “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy” by Mark Vroegop (And if you are lacking in funds, as you said, I’d be happy to purchase this book, and others I mention below, for you). You are expressing lament in much of your complaint against God which, in some sense, can be understandable. I believe you will find words and sentiments for your prayers in the psalms and in lamentations as well, which may be of some help to you. But Vroegop’s book helps us to understand how lament can be helpful to us. Lament is a complaint before God in seemingly difficult or impossible to change situations. Much of what you’ve described sounds like lament to me and V’s book may help give words to your grievances before God.

      You said, “I just point out that silence isn’t an actual answer. I try to lean on what God’s word says, but that’s impossible when God doesn’t keep His word. “Whatever you ask in my name I will do so the Father may be glorified through the Son.” A broken promise. His word not kept.”

      Ok, silence is not an answer. I can see that. If someone asks me a question and I don’t answer, then that’s not an answer, but silence instead. And I think I mentioned this before, but before we say that God has broken a promise, we have to identify the promise that God has broken. So, is God required (obligated) to answer Any prayer we pray in His name? I don’t know what you’ve prayed for, but I don’t think we can say that God is obligated to answer any prayer we pray in Jesus’s name. James 4:1-3 says, “What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you? 2 You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” God has a choice in which prayers to answer positively, and not all of our prayers are ones that God is obligated to answer, as seen by James 4 here.

      You said, “God didn’t make me to be a patient person.”

      I don’t think any of us are patient when we aren’t getting what we desire. Besides, patience is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5) and has to be cultivated into our souls by difficulty and trials. If patience were natural in any of us then I don’t think it would be a fruit of the Spirit.

      You said, “I have asked God to help me with this deficiency in my character. 43+ years and still nothing, no help. Just another unanswered prayer. Anger isn’t what I feel towards God. Heart broken, disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, and despair are my feelings regarding God and His lack of interaction in my life.”

      Maybe God is trying to build patience in you through unanswered prayer? I know that with as many trials as I have been through, I still struggle with patience and pride. Every trial is humbling to me, yet pride is still present. Some sin seems to “stick” to us a little more than others.

      You said, “There lies the problem. After 43+ years of being a Christian, I can’t think of (remember) anything that God has done to bless my life. Life isn’t a blessing when you have nothing to live for. From my perspective, I don’t. God has never revealed, or done, anything that makes life worth living. God didn’t give me any talents, skills, or abilities in this life, no purpose revealed. Just silence. Purpose, the thing that makes life worth living. From my perspective God is not involved in my life, let alone done anything good for me. Keeping me alive to suffer in silence and absence is just plain torture, not a blessing. Life long poverty isn’t a blessing either. Being no good at anything isn’t a blessing. Heck God won’t even give me enough financially to be a proper Christian. Don’t have enough to get to church, let alone pay tithes and offerings, that isn’t a blessing.”

      While I don’t know your life, are you saying that there is absolutely nothing positive for which you have to thank God for? I’d recommend you to look at the story of Nick Vujicic, who was born without arms or legs. The dude is truly inspiring. Anyone with any type of problems will derive hope from this guy: https://youtu.be/tJnJ_fTYofQ

      When you speak of “life long poverty,” what are we talking about here? Are we talking about real starvation and not water? If you have access to a computer, then you must have some means, even if it’s free in the library. Many people’s view of “poverty” is not having a nice house or not having a job that makes $100,000 a year while having a decent job making half of that and at least having a house with AC and running water. True poverty is no access to any (or very little) of that at all and no way to improve the situation. Maybe that is your situation, but I’m just curious.

      You mention that you “don’t have enough [money] to get to church.” Do you have anyone who could take you to church? I’m sure that whatever church is nearby will have someone who is willing to take you. Have you tried to call a church close-by to see if someone will take you to church?

      You said, “As for our rewards in Heaven and the afterlife, they don’t have anything to do with the here and now. Meaningless in this life. I need God in this life also, not just the next one.”

      In church history, while it’s true that rewards in heaven are different than the rewards of earth, people have often found hope in their dark, earthly circumstances because of their certainty of heaven through faith in Jesus Christ. We can walk with hope that even if we walk 80 years of pain, that compared to eternity, that’s only a distant dream 10,000 years in heaven (see 2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

      You said, “I don’t know how to be happy, content, or joyful with a life of endless nothing from God. No help from God. I want to believe that God is always good and that He wants good for me but experience has proven otherwise. Being ignored and neglected is not good, even by God.”

      When it comes to happiness or contentment, I’d recommend “The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment” by Jeremiah Burroughs. Or a more modern version called “The Power of Christian Contentment” by Andy Davis.

      If you want me to I’ll buy these books (and the lament book above) and mail them to you if you’d give me your address, since you seem to be tight on funds?

      You said, “I know that I can be a bit trying for some people, so I will understand if you don’t reply.”

      Certainly, we can all be trying. We all go through difficult times. You are just going through some hard times and I’m here to listen and to try to offer support, where possible. Keep the questions and comments coming. –Billy Reinhardt

  • Hello again, Mr. Reinhardt

    Just a couple of thoughts. In your last reply you encourage me to see ways that God is working (or has worked) in my life. After as serious a thought as I can, I have come to the conclusion that God is doing nothing or has done nothing in my life. That is unless you consider neglect doing something. Nothing noticeable or good. Counting blessing depends on what you consider blessings. Blessings are tangible, noticeable. Being alive isn’t a blessing for all of us. Yes it is very disappointing that God never answers any prayers for me. Things are not the point. God caring enough to be involved is the point. God loves me but doesn’t care enough to stop torturing me with silence, absence, and unanswered prayers. Let’s not forget the broken promises. You wrote that I should look at things differently. “suffering in silence” to “waiting patiently with His silence”. Reframing is the art of deception. Justifying a lie just because you don’t like reality. A blue ball will be blue no matter how hard I try to make it different by calling it red. As for waiting, that is another form of torture. God didn’t make me to be a patient person. I have prayed and asked God for patience but as of right now, nothing. That’s God’s M.O., nothing. God only takes but never gives. I know that I can’t move forward with this spiritual journey as long as God remains silent and absent. Thanks

    God bless you, through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

  • Hello, yes sin separates us from God, but only because God wants it to. The Bible teaches that God can’t be in the presence of sin. The Bible also teaches that God appeared to and spoke with sinners directly in the Old Testament. Now if God was so weak that sin could stop Him then He wouldn’t be God. Since God proved that He can actually be in the presence of sin, it must then be His choice to remain silent and absent. Disobedience is the same. Read the Bible; How many people disobeyed God yet He still spoke to or appeared to them. Again God’s choice. We are to put our trust in God only to be completely ignored and left in hopelessness (this life), and despair. As for God’s presence, it is none existent. For God to be present He needs to be seen, heard, felt, or all the above. Think about it like this, you may be reading this but that doesn’t mean I am present there with you. I believe the same applies to God. I personally have never experienced anything from God. I desire to hear God’s voice so that He can tell me what my purpose is. This nothingness that is my life needs more from and of God. Can’t form a relationship with God when He doesn’t interact in any way. Forming a relationship requires imput from both sides. Silence isn’t input, absence isn’t input, unanswered prayers aren’t input. Before you think that God answers all prayers just not with the answer you asked for, consider this. I have never received an answer of any kind, not Yes, not No, not Wait, not even a kiss my ass. Sorry for the language. Just silence. I am now into my 43rd year, since giving myself to God through Jesus, of being a born again Christian. Over 42 years later still nothing. I just can’t see how this miserable poverty stricken life could produce anything good. Thanks

    God bless you, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Kenneth,

      I appreciate you commenting here on my blog. Let me respond to a few things you said. First, I only proposed God not listening to our prayers from Isaiah 59:1-2 as a possible solution. You make a good point that God did interact with sinners in the Bible, but we also cannot discount the fact that God may choose to not interact with us due to our sins. God has His reasons and ways. Second, you mention that God has never said a “no” to you in prayer. I would submit that if you have presented some request to God, and the request has not been granted, then it is likely a “no,” even though a “wait” may be the response. Third, ironically enough, whenever I saw that you had posted this, I have been reading, for a project I’m doing, some atheist writings (or those who have deconverted from Christianity to atheism), and the subject of prayer (unanswered, or otherwise) comes up a good bit in their writings as a reason they disbelieve in God. They find God’s silence as an evidence of His non-existence. I do not believe it is this simple since the Bible is clear that God does not answer prayer for many reasons (see blog post above!), but I can understand how some would be frustrated with God about this particular matter. I sense you are frustrated as well and I would encourage you to view prayer as a way for you to connect with and related to and talk to God rather than just a place to present requests. Certainly, in prayer, we can present requests, but we can also thank God, we can sing to God, we can tell God our anxieties, we can lament before Him, etc. In other words, prayer has multiple purposes than simply asking God for stuff to happen. The psalms are full of a variety of prayers like this. I’d encourage you to read them and see the various ways they prayed in the Bible.

    • Hello Mr. Reinhardt,

      Thanks for your reply. It is appreciated. I will try and be brief. I don’t understand your comment on silence being a “No” answer, or possibly “Wait”. Right there you identified the problem with God’s silence. You can’t know the answer from silence. An actual answer is what is needed for clarity. Silence isn’t an answer. I brought up the God chooses part to point out that since God chooses what He does, means that He could answer as promised in the Bible instead of ignoring us. It’s God’s choice to make us suffer in His silence and absence. Now I get to the prayer part of your reply. You said that I need to treat prayer as more than presenting requests. A way to connect with, and relate to, and talk to God, a place for lamination, a place to thank God, a place to tell God our anxieties. I have prayed in lamination, I have told God my anxieties and concerns. I pray for the poor and ways to help them. I pray God to be directly involved in my life. I want and need God to be here. Silence and absence aren’t synonymous with being present. Just the opposite. As far as lamination goes, everything points to that being a form of complaining. I have also been told (by several different religious groups) that complaining is a sin in as you are not trusting God enough. I am tripping over the stumbling blocks (silence, absence, and unanswered prayers) that God is torturing me with.

      Thanks and God bless you, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Kenneth,
      Sorry for the delayed reply. This was in my inbox and my inbox got full, so I overlooked your response! Anyhow, let me attempt to reply to some of your previous thoughts. You said:

      “I don’t understand your comment on silence being a “No” answer, or possibly “Wait”. Right there you identified the problem with God’s silence. You can’t know the answer from silence. An actual answer is what is needed for clarity. Silence isn’t an answer. I brought up the God chooses part to point out that since God chooses what He does, means that He could answer as promised in the Bible instead of ignoring us. It’s God’s choice to make us suffer in His silence and absence.”

      If God has not answered, then, I can certainly rule out one possible response: It’s not an immediate “yes” to my request. And, sure, I cannot say for certain that God has actually said “No” or “Wait,” but it’s certainly not an “Immediate Yes.” But, if one assumes there is a God, and if one assumes that God answers prayers, then what other possibilities besides “Wait” or “No” would there be to prayer besides “Yes”? Now, one could go in the other direction and make the claim that “There is not God” because prayer is unanswered (or, at least not answered in the way we would want it), but that is another claim on a separate matter.

      You also say, ” I brought up the God chooses part to point out that since God chooses what He does, means that He could answer as promised in the Bible instead of ignoring us. It’s God’s choice to make us suffer in His silence and absence.”

      You use the words relating to God “ignoring us” and that He “makes us suffer in His silence and absence.” Yes, the Psalms, especially, are full of laments to God about His silence, alongside Lamentations, Job and other portions of Scripture as well. So, you are actually speaking the language of those in the Bible whenever you claim that God is “ignoring us.” In the Bible they would often say, “How long, O Lord…” meaning they want to know WHEN God is going to answer. And the psalmist (or whoever is writing) would reply something like, “But I will wait on You, Oh Lord…” The concept of “waiting” on God is all over the Bible alongside lamenting seemingly unchangeable or painful circumstances. Now we DO see periods of deliverance (God heard the prayers of His people in Egypt and brought about deliverance, etc.), but we also see periods where God either does not deliver or delays deliverance. If God does not deliver, or if He delays deliverance, then He does so for good reasons that are often beyond our own sight and capacity. Let me also add that you use the word that God makes us “suffer” in silence. While the Scripture writers were often angry with God, the response here is to not view it as “suffering” in silence, but waiting patiently with His silence. This is how the Biblical writers dealt with God’s silence. There was anger and tears, no doubt, but many ultimately landed on, “We will wait patiently for God.” I would encourage you to do the same (which I also remind myself to do as well).

      You also said, “I have prayed in lamination, I have told God my anxieties and concerns. I pray for the poor and ways to help them. I pray God to be directly involved in my life. I want and need God to be here. Silence and absence aren’t synonymous with being present. Just the opposite. As far as lamination goes, everything points to that being a form of complaining. I have also been told (by several different religious groups) that complaining is a sin in as you are not trusting God enough. I am tripping over the stumbling blocks (silence, absence, and unanswered prayers) that God is torturing me with.”

      I am glad that you pray to God. This is good. I would encourage you to see ways that God is working (or has worked) in your life. We can all (myself included) get all caught up in how God DOESN’T answer prayer or how God DOESN’T come through, but we need to also remind us when God HAS come through. This is also how some biblical writers would deal with God’s silence: “We remind ourselves of what God has done in the past…” Psalm 103 says, “Forget not all His benefits…” and then they list their “blessings.” The old song goes this way…”Count Your Blessings”…

      1 When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
      When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
      Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
      And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

      Refrain:
      Count your blessings, name them one by one;
      Count your blessings, see what God hath done;
      Count your blessings, name them one by one;
      Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

      2 Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
      Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
      Count your many blessings, ev’ry doubt will fly,
      And you will be singing as the days go by. [Refrain]

      3 When you look at others with their lands and gold,
      Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
      Count your many blessings, money cannot buy
      Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high. [Refrain]

      4 So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,
      Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
      Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
      Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

      Billy commenting: Do any of these verses or phrases “ring a bell”? They do to me. We all get discouraged by the trials of this life. But when I “count my blessings,” I’m reminded of what God has done. The hymn writer says, “Do not be discouraged, God is over all…” This is the ROCK at the bottom of all our conflict: God is God over all the conflict and all the pain and we can trust Him to be good and to be God in each circumstance. I know of no other place to put my comfort and hope in but there. I find no hope in atheism and I find no assurance in other religions. I find hope in God who is Sovereign over all things. We also must “shore up” our belief in the goodness of God. God is good NOT because our circumstances are good; God is good because of the cross of Christ. If God has been good and gracious enough to provide Christ to save us, then how much more can we trust God in His kindness through the trials of life? The cross of the basis of God’s goodness, not whether He answers our prayers for deliverance or not. We’ve already been delivered from the GREATEST Trial ever, namely, from sin and hell. Everything else is just “gravy” or the “cherry” on top of that. I’d encourage you (as I remind myself), Kenneth, to do/believe the same.

  • Yes I believe sin has separated us from God, but I do see his signs and wonders, and he has answered my prayers, ans sustained me in ways I could never have imagined.
    God did not speak nor were there any prophets for a period of four hundred years between the old and new testaments. If you think about it, the Mayflower landed at Plymouth rock a little over four hundred years ago. I can’t speak for periods before that. I do know God has answered my prayers time and again, and I will forever love him.

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