Loving Someone I Hate

Revenge, Enemy, Anger, Hatred, Fist, Fight, Conflict

What would it do for our hearts towards an individual that we despise now to think that we will spend eternity in heaven with them worshiping the same God that we both love?

What is your reaction (& my reaction!), as a Christian, to those with whom we strongly disagree? Particularly, how do we respond to a fellow Christian with whom we have a very sharp disagreement? I want to share with you my notes from a sermon on 1 John 2:7-11, but I’ll only cite verses 9-11 since that is relevant to the part I’m sharing here. I have left in my “emphasis” marks of bold and ALL CAPS that you’ll find throughout this post.

9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes (1 John 2:9-11).

John Newton (the writer of the hymn, “Amazing Grace”) and also a very respected pastor in his day, was writing to a friend who was having a controversy with another Christian. Newton said this:

“As to your opponent [meaning the Christian brother that this man was wanting to respond to], I wish, that, before you set pen to paper against him, and during the whole time you are preparing your answer, you may commend him by earnest prayer to the Lord’s teaching and blessing. This practice will have a direct tendency to conciliate your heart to love and pity him; and such a disposition will have a good influence upon every page you write. . . . (If he is a believer,) in a little while you will meet in heaven; he will then be dearer to you than the nearest friend you have upon earth is to you now. Anticipate that period in your thoughts…”

Newton is giving us an insight here as to who a Christian brother or sister REALLY is to us. First, we will “meet in heaven.”  This person that I am saying that I “hate,” if he or she is truly a Christian and if I am truly a Christian, then THIS person is one with whom I will spend eternity. One day, if we are both believers, then I am going to spend ETERNITY with this person.

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HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS UPON WHICH WE NEED TO PONDER DEEPLY:

  1. Q: Think about a Christian brother or sister with whom you have great disagreement. How could (or should!) the idea of “spending eternity with him or her” impact the way I relate to this person now?
  2. Q: When I am in eternity forever with this person, in the presence of God, worshipping and enjoying Him (God) forever, how much does this current conflict that I have with this person really matter in that future moment?
  3. Q: What does it do for my heart to envision this person that I have animosity towards KNEELING and SINGING Alongside myself in Worship and in Song and in Service for God Forever in eternity?
  4. Q: What does it do for my heart towards this person now that I have animosity with to see them, in eternity, LOVED ON by THE SAME God I LOVE, FOREVER?
  5. Q: Does it do anything for my heart’s orientation towards this person now that I have a great disagreement with to know that God loves them JUST AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ME?
  6. Q: Does it do anything for my heart towards this person now to know that the SAME GRACE that has saved me has ALSO been lavished on that brother or sister in Christ as well?
  7. Q: If God has called this person “His Child,” then HOW COULD I call them anything worse or anything less AND how could I TREAT HIM OR HER, as God’s Child, as anyone worse or anyone less?

Will I choose to love my brother or sister in Christ with whom I'll spend eternity? Click To Tweet

Now, you or I may want to DOUBT whether that person is a Christian or not due to, maybe, some actions we’ve seen or, maybe, due to some sharp disagreements they may have had with us about some central gospel issues (OR MAYBE THE DISAGREEMENT I HAVE WITH THIS PERSON IS REALLY A PETTY THING AND IT JUST NEEDS TO BE DROPPED ALTOGETHER!!)—Anyhow, while it may make us feel BETTER to assume that this person that opposes us is NOT a Christian, a startling question I have for us is this: WHAT IF THAT PERSON IS A CHRISTIAN?

  1. Q: What if I have been BASHING one of God’s Redeemed children?
  2. Q: What if I have been DEGRADING not only a person made in God’s image, but a person who is a Genuine, Blood-Bought Child of God?
  3. Q: What if, instead of that person spending an ETERNITY in Hell because they’ve DISAGREED WITH ME, will INSTEAD be SINGING to God the Same Songs that I’ll be singing to Him for eternity with me?
  4. Q: Or, instead of thinking that “THAT PERSON who OPPOSES the Gospel” or “THAT PERSON who OPPOSES me will GO TO HELL”…what if I am the one HEADED TO HELL because I’VE been the one Causing all the fights and all the fuss because I’M Not a Child of God and I DON’T POSSESS the Love of God in MY HEART?
  5. Q: What if the HATRED I have for that person is PROOF that I am a child of the devil instead of a child of God?
  6. Q: Or if I AM a Christian, what if I am the one that’s the problem? What if I am the one that LACKS love for God since I can’t bring myself to show kindness or compassion to this person that I despise?? What if I am the immature one because I think that I’m ALWAYS RIGHTGod Help US!

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LEAVE A REPLY:

  1. I’d love to hear any of your own thoughts about how you deal with bitterness or unforgiveness.
  2. I’d also love to hear your response to John Newton’s quote above or how any of the questions listed above might have helped you to rethink how you interact with that person with whom you have a strong disagreement.

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